What children want!
Introduction: Children search for a friend in their parent. Parents need to reach out and build a sound relationship
Source: Vijay Times, Family Matters- Pg 2.
Copyright © 2006 Puja Goyal.
CHILDREN will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L Evans
Most often, we as adults think that we know a lot by the virtue of being an adult. It turns us into a bully. Our self-righteous self wants the child to listen, obey, and respect, because we know whatís best. Do children want us to listen to them? Yes! We forget to listen and learn about them. Children will always remember how their parents made them feel, long after the parents are gone. According to research, parents have the biggest influence on the child's career! Parents are mere instruments in the development of the child.
The child is his own entity, with his own dreams. Unfortunately, some parents take ownership of their child instead of being their guide, and this causes many parent-child relationship problems. Owners are parents who apply ressure to mold the child into desired professional roles they have envisioned for their children. Guides are parents who will be more concerned about helping their children develop their talents and abilities through sound guidance and encouragement.
Donít pressurise your child to become something you want to become, to fulfill your own dream. As this could leave your children on the road to frustration, depression or a career disaster. Often parents pressurise their children to pursue careers that pay the most money, rather than careers that appeal to and complement their talents and abilities.
If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others - Dr Haim Ginott.
It is amazing what wonders a good word of support and encouragement can do for a child. It will teach a child hope and confidence as she grows. The more you show confidence in them, it is less likely for them to drift apart. Once parents accept the fact that their children are different and unique, itís much easier to encourage them to pursue a career path that will reinforce their childrenís desires and maximise the utilisation of their talents.
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900.
Children want to be recognised and loved for who they are. Most often, parents forget that they make mistakes. Children on the other hand make mistakes, and promptly say their sorries, but when adults make mistakes they try to justify their actions. When children give unconditional love, they expect it in return. Similarly, when children say 'Sorry', they expect elders to say apologise when they make mistakes. Don't let pride get in the way of apologising to your child, while saying it, mean it! Take responsibility for your actions.
As children grow up and enter adolescence, they want to find more time for themselves. Communication becomes difficult; they would prefer to be holed up in their rooms. Donít pester them to talk instead create communicable situations. Donít talk to them, talk with them. For example: when you take the child out to shop, ask her what conditioner she thinks you should be, ask her about her choice. Buy it and get back to her with a feedback after using it. The child will feel more proactive and proud that you asked her. A small thing like a conditioner can create magic towards better communication.
Encourage the child to solve her own problems, not by advising but by counselling encourage the child to talk. Ask her about the situation, what does she think she should do? Children who learn the skills of decision making at a younge age often grow up to be good decision makers. Make sure not to judge them. Children are receptive and contrary to the belief, they do understand nuances of everything going on at home, on TV, with friends, etc. Viewing themselves in the image of an adult.
Children learn to imitate their parents and verbal, emotional and physical abuse amongst spouses could traumatise the child's development. They will not come up to their parents to talk, if they think the parents will not listen to them, love them, and will not judge them for it. If you are still wondering what your child wants? Well, ask them!
Source: Vijay Times, Family Matters- Pg 2.
Copyright © 2006 Puja Goyal.
CHILDREN will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L Evans
Most often, we as adults think that we know a lot by the virtue of being an adult. It turns us into a bully. Our self-righteous self wants the child to listen, obey, and respect, because we know whatís best. Do children want us to listen to them? Yes! We forget to listen and learn about them. Children will always remember how their parents made them feel, long after the parents are gone. According to research, parents have the biggest influence on the child's career! Parents are mere instruments in the development of the child.
The child is his own entity, with his own dreams. Unfortunately, some parents take ownership of their child instead of being their guide, and this causes many parent-child relationship problems. Owners are parents who apply ressure to mold the child into desired professional roles they have envisioned for their children. Guides are parents who will be more concerned about helping their children develop their talents and abilities through sound guidance and encouragement.
Donít pressurise your child to become something you want to become, to fulfill your own dream. As this could leave your children on the road to frustration, depression or a career disaster. Often parents pressurise their children to pursue careers that pay the most money, rather than careers that appeal to and complement their talents and abilities.
If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others - Dr Haim Ginott.
It is amazing what wonders a good word of support and encouragement can do for a child. It will teach a child hope and confidence as she grows. The more you show confidence in them, it is less likely for them to drift apart. Once parents accept the fact that their children are different and unique, itís much easier to encourage them to pursue a career path that will reinforce their childrenís desires and maximise the utilisation of their talents.
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900.
Children want to be recognised and loved for who they are. Most often, parents forget that they make mistakes. Children on the other hand make mistakes, and promptly say their sorries, but when adults make mistakes they try to justify their actions. When children give unconditional love, they expect it in return. Similarly, when children say 'Sorry', they expect elders to say apologise when they make mistakes. Don't let pride get in the way of apologising to your child, while saying it, mean it! Take responsibility for your actions.
As children grow up and enter adolescence, they want to find more time for themselves. Communication becomes difficult; they would prefer to be holed up in their rooms. Donít pester them to talk instead create communicable situations. Donít talk to them, talk with them. For example: when you take the child out to shop, ask her what conditioner she thinks you should be, ask her about her choice. Buy it and get back to her with a feedback after using it. The child will feel more proactive and proud that you asked her. A small thing like a conditioner can create magic towards better communication.
Encourage the child to solve her own problems, not by advising but by counselling encourage the child to talk. Ask her about the situation, what does she think she should do? Children who learn the skills of decision making at a younge age often grow up to be good decision makers. Make sure not to judge them. Children are receptive and contrary to the belief, they do understand nuances of everything going on at home, on TV, with friends, etc. Viewing themselves in the image of an adult.
Children learn to imitate their parents and verbal, emotional and physical abuse amongst spouses could traumatise the child's development. They will not come up to their parents to talk, if they think the parents will not listen to them, love them, and will not judge them for it. If you are still wondering what your child wants? Well, ask them!
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